The Gift of Matsuda
by See More Glasses
Summary: L and Matsuda are left alone in a room.


Matsuda was swimming through nervousness as he sat in a room with L, the young detective. He was currently dropping real cubes, like, real huge sugar cubes into his coffee. Where did he get those?

"You and horses share the same taste." He said and laughed.

L looked up at him and curved his lip into one of those evil smiles. Matsuda thought they were evil anyway because they weren't happy. Why did he have to smile like that?

He dropped another sugar cube into his coffee.

"So – uhh, You're L. Hahaha, yes, you're L!"

"Please call me Ryuuzaki."

"Oh, of course of course, my bad!"

Now L delicately picked up a spoon. He moved like he was sifting through clay or some kind of unseen ooze that hung in the air – it was so slow and precise. Matsuda wasted all kinds of movements with his hands and tapping of his feet and unseen facial expressions. What was the word for it? Repose! He had no repose!

During his thought process he noticed L starring at him and he couldn't think any more thoughts because he felt so open he was scared to, "Why does Matsuda-san look so happy?"

"Oh – uhh, no reason."

"A man who smiles for no reason is creepy."

At least his smiles were genuine and not evil like L's!

"Why does Matsuda-san now look so indignant?"

"I uhh? Heheheh! I didn't mean to." Matsuda now realized his hand was behind his head, scratching in the most recognized gesture of nervousness in the world.

L picked up his cup meticulously and brought it to his lips. He took a sip, one sip, and set it down.

"Why are you not with your colleagues?"

"Oh, uhh, they're not out together or anything. I think they're all with loved ones. Big Kira case right?"

"Right."

He sighed and he was glad L didn't ask about his loved ones. He doesn't need it pointed out that he has no loved ones. He is very sad about that and wished, momentarily, the he was less of a goofball and had some determination behind him like most of his friends. People can like goofs but not love them…

"I didn't mean to make Matsuda-san sad."

Oh! "Oh no, no no no! Don't think it was you I was just relaxing my face that's all. When I'm not smiling I can look very sad, it's just my bone structure or something!"

"Hm." L took another sip of coffee.

"So, uh, L-yuuzaki, can I ask you something?"

"Hm?"

"So – uhh, Do you have any loved ones?"

"Matsuda-san just likes to hear the sound of his own voice."

"What!?"

"He didn't have his question planned out when he asked if he wanted to ask a question. He thought of it on the spot. Matsuda-san is a quick thinker, despite appearances."

He must have smiled because L then said, "And he is also a man with little control over his face."

"I'm sorry, I must be useless."

"Yes."

….

Powerless is what he felt now. His pointy fingers on his two hands connected in front of his body and toyed with each other. "That's not fair…" He said in a voice weak to his own ears, "For all you know I could be the one that kills Kira."

"Hmm…I'd have to say the chances of that are about .00001%."

His heart sank lower. Why was he even on this investigative team if he was so useless?

L was now twirling a sugarcube between his thumb and finger watching the individual crystals sparkle like they were a thousand television sets piled together, "Matsuda-san is not useless, though. His inability to control his emotions acts as an outlet for the other members of the team."

"Are you saying I'm an emotional punching bag?"

He looked up and that evil little smile had crept back onto the detective's pale and creepy face. It should be insulting but it did make him feel a little better.

"I'd have to admit I am jealous of Matsuda-San."

Those words worked like a shock treatment to his abused ego. It roared up inside him and awaited the nourishing words hungrily, "Really!?"

"Yes. He is no good with tension and spite and envy and expresses them all instantly the moment he feels them. His body suffers little emotional damage. He will live a long life and he will always look young and pretty and he will age gradually and with grace. I believe he will one day find someone to share his long life with and they will grow old together. Matsuda-san is the type of man who enjoys life and isn't destroyed by it. I envy him."

So later when the team all got back and Matsuda was once again lowered into his position of team whipping boy he could lean upon those words of L for emotional support and it helped him survive with grace, and dignity, and a hope for a future that L had predicted.


End file.
